The coast and the city

I can barely believe that it’s the end of May. Not a lot of posting up in here this month, for a few reasons:

1.       The first part of the month I was getting us ready for vacation. Lots of shopping for the perfect pair or sandals for me, 
      boardies for AD, and small items to keep LG busy during his first airplane ride, along with paying bills, washing, packing, etc.

2.      We were on vacation for a week, during which time I unplugged. No email, Facebook, blogs, Internet-anything. It was 
      amazing.

3.      I was pregnant the whole month. How’s that for a super low key life event reveal? I am currently 12 weeks and due 
     December 8^th. I’ve been tired, nauseated, and hungry.

Besides the vacation and pregnancy, I was also a perfectionist throughout the entire month (okay, throughout my entire life). Though I know things don’t need to be perfect and have come a long, long way, perfectionism still trips me up, wedges itself between me and my dreams, and sometimes paralyzes me. If I don’t have the (time, energy, resources) to do this (blog post, DIY project, event, meal) to an acceptable level I’ve created in my head, I just won’t do it at all.

In terms of the blog, I don’t have the time or energy right now to make it read, look, feel the way I want it to, which has been a stumbling block to recording and sharing what’s been going on in our lives, in my head, and in my heart this year.

Though I wanted to do something fun to highlight my first blogiversary (and Mother’s Day, and the new bebe) this month, it didn’t happen. I did go back and read my first blog post, and realized that I need to get back to where I was a year ago: simply writing as a way to share memories, work out some things going on in my head/heart, and hopefully glorifying God. Not posting photojournalistic snapshots with each post, using the perfect graphic and font, getting followers, getting my projects pinned, etc. So I’m going back to basics for a while. If I have time to get my photos uploaded and edited, great, but if not, it’ll just be memories and meaningful content.

Source

So, here’s what I’m noodling on right now:

Part I

My family (AD, LG, and I) and the fam I’m from (mom, dad, brother, brother’s girlfriend) spent last week with my mom’s aunt’s family at a gorgeous beach house on St. Simons Island, Georgia (it’s on the coast between Savannah and Jacksonville). We had a wonderful time—I will definitely be doing a detailed post about our trip with pics at some point—but what’s really struck me since I’ve been home is the simple beauty of that place.

Last week it was the ocean, beach, and marshes, lush foliage and hanging moss, colorful homes of all types of architecture, vintage-style bikes, the sunshine, the breeze. And this week, driving to the grocery store and looking around, I’m seeing concrete, powerlines, restaurants and strip malls, and house after house after house in one of four styles with grass and one or two trees (in one of five species) in the yard. This culture shock of sorts made me realize what an effect being surrounded by a beautiful environment can have on your spirit. Now, I know comparing an upscale vacation destination and working-class metropolitan area isn’t quite fair. And I’m not saying that I don’t see some beauty in some parts of the suburbs or city, but as indicated in my use of the word “some” in the first part of this sentence, it is often an exception, not the norm; something that must be sought out or looked for, not simply taken in. There are a lot of people who would tell me that I need to  choose to find the beauty in the everyday, blah blah blah.

All that said, I know there are a lot of beautiful places--city and country, in all directions, near and far--that working people can live. While it has been in our family plan to eventually move out to a big piece of land with hills and trees and water and be as self-sufficient as possible, traveling to this beautiful place confirmed it that much more, and brought the goal into finer focus.

Part II
On Tuesday, AD, LG, and I hopped in the car as soon as I got home from work, headed to a nursery down by the airport that has quality plants for cheap. When we got there, we were greeted by a sign telling us that they were sold out and closed until they'd have farm produce in late July. So we took a different way home, one in which we'd pass a few more nurseries. A little way down the road, in a city we only ever pass through, I made AD pull over because my stomach was getting empty and making me feel like I was going to puke. 

The next place to pull over was a gas station with a McDonald's. So we got out of our decade-old car, all of us in t-shirts, jeans, and flip flops, and ordered dinner. And the overwhelming feeling while we were there was that we were not welcome there, mostly because we were not black.

And I just thought, this is BS. I live in this county, my taxes help out here, and I can't get some chicken McNuggets without dealing with crap? And then all of the ranting I hear from my father, who grew up in Detroit but now calls it a dump (among other things), and the comments from my aunt and uncle when they get back from visiting my cousin's family in Charlotte, all started to make sense. I was asking myself, why should I deal with a corrupted city that can't help itself (can we say Kwame?), horrible roads, high gas prices, when I don't have to?

And these musings bring me to an ongoing internal struggle between optimism and pessimism, and a question I ask myself all the time about a lot of things: When do you keep trying, and when do you give up on (your city, job, family, friends, religion, sports team, ____)?

This city has me feeling this way this week, but even more so over the past year, I've felt this way towards the behavior of some people in my life that I care about. As I've grown older, I've become more complacent; less likely to speak my mind if I feel that something or someone has done wrong. I've been wondering whether it's that I'm afraid of the lasting consequences of being really straight up/standing up to someone, whether I'm being complacent because these people are not a part of my everyday life and dealings, or whether an appropriate opportunity just hasn't come along yet. The one thing that resonates with me, though, is that doing and saying nothing just perpetuates a bad cycle that could at least change, and maybe one day end.

Well, this post was...
...all over the place?
...moving in the right direction
...cathartic

 

A good date

Thirty years ago today, I was baptized.

Two years ago today, AD and LG were baptized. 

We did not plan this purposefully; it was entirely coincidental,

and I didn't realize the significance until after the date was set. 

We chose the date because AD's sister and her family would be visiting that weekend;

that Sunday was actually Palm Sunday, and since our congregation does a passion drama on Palm Sunday

(you can watch this year's here--it was amazing), we had our ceremony at home.

 

LG actually wore the same suspendered knickers and cap his father wore for his dedication some thirty years earlier.

 I may be partial, but wasn't he the cutest little baby ever?

Our house: Then & Now

Yesterday was our third house-iversary. AD and I celebrated with Jimmy John's and getting our taxes done. Exciting, right?

What is exciting, in my opinion, is looking around our home and seeing how far it’s come in three years. Of course, if you asked my husband, he'd look around and see all that's left to do.

Taking both of these perspectives into consideration, throughout the next few weeks, I'll be doing a series of Then & Now posts to show what we started with, what our house looks like these days, and what’s left on our [never-ending] to-do/wish list.

For today, I’ll give you a bit of background information. AD and I moved out of the house we were renting and into a one-bedroom apartment in May 2009 to get serious about saving up for a house. In November, we started looking. And making offers. And getting turned down. That cycle went on for a couple of months. By the time we found our house, we’d looked at over forty houses and made six other offers.

At first, we weren’t even looking at houses in our city because we’d heard it had certain regulations for rental houses, and we wanted to be able to rent out our house if we ever needed to. But the other cities we were looking in didn’t have much left to offer in our budget, and time was running out on the first-time homebuyer tax credit, so we expanded our search.

Our realtor arrived before us and had basically written the house off before we even stepped inside on that first tour. It was a foreclosure, and in the upper range of our budget. There was a puddle on the hardwood floor in front of the kitchen sink. It had appliances, but they were ancient. It had two bathrooms, but one of them looked like it needed industrial cleaning before it could be used (or so we thought). And the whole place was filthy.

But… it had four bedrooms, two baths, a somewhat open floor plan, a fireplace, lots of storage in the kitchen, a basement, an attached garage, a fenced yard, it was in a nice neighborhood with a variety of older home styles and old growth trees, and we were willing to put in the work it needed. So we put in an offer and the bank eventually accepted.

However, the inspection revealed that one of the bathrooms needed more than a good cleaning—the shower had been leaking for years and some of the studs in the wall behind it were rotting. With this damage, the house would not qualify for a FHA loan, and in order to rip out and redo the shower so that we’d be approved for the FHA loan, we’d have to do a 203k rehabilitation loan in conjunction with the FHA loan. Which meant more paperwork, work, deadlines, inspections. But we were game.

The day we closed, the crocuses in our front yard were blooming, and AD was in short sleeves. Yesterday, we had a high of 28 and my bulbs were poking up through the snow. Last year, we had a high of 75. Crazy Michigan weather!

We would not have been able to complete any of the work on our house without:

AD's dad, who came up from Maryland to play the role of general contractor

My parents, who worked their wallpaper stripping, spackling, and painting skillz

Our old roommate, the trim-painting princess

Stop back soon for my first Then & Now post!

LG's first camping trip

If you didn't already know, AD and I are hardcore campers. For the first four years of our togetherness, we kicked it in a backpacking tent, always in rustic national forest or state park campsites. Almost four years ago, we got our pop-up camper. The only thing that changed with the addition of "Poppy" is that we can accommodate up to three other adults, and the majority of our camping gear lives in her year round, which makes the before and after part of camping much easier, and we therefore go more often--just grab your clothes and food and go! It is truly our home away from home; we have room for all of our camping needs [and more], including the "Oh Sh*t" bag for emergencies. Let me say, though, that our home away from home does not include a generator, air conditioner, TV/DVDs, or even flushable toilets. That's why we go rustic. If you want that stuff, stay home. 

Poppy's first trip [with us] in April 2009--notice there are no leaves on the trees? AD couldn't wait to go

The first summer (2009) we had Poppy, we probably went camping 8-10 times, including our week-long trip to the U.P., which is one of my favorite memories in our *almost* five years of marriage. The second summer (2010) we had her, we only went 3-4 times--we had just bought [and were working our butts off on] our house and I was in the first/second trimester with LG, which included a fun stint with placenta previa where I was on bedrest for a week and then limited physical activity for another month. Last year (2011), poor Poppy only got used once, and that was for deer camp in November, on account of the fact that AD spent the first half of the summer researching, interviewing, and studying for a new job, and then August - October in training in the other D[allas].

Pure Michigan: Lake of the Clouds, Porcupine Mountains

We didn't know how many times we'd get to go this year, especially with AD working just about every weekend--seriously, his first weekend off this year was in July, and not so coincidentally, our first camping trip of the year, and LG's first camping trip ever, was in July. We decided to keep it simple and go to Brighton State Recreation Area, which is less than an hour from home and also where we took Poppy for her first camping trip (with us; she'd had two previous owners who didn't take her out very much). AD was supposed to be getting home from work late on a Friday night, so we planned to take off first thing Saturday morning and come home Sunday afternoon. Well, AD ended up getting home from work before I did that Friday, and talked me into rushing around and forgetting things throwing everything in the truck and taking off that evening; I'm definitely glad we did, though. 

So, how did LG's first camping trip go, you ask? AWESOME. I don't know why we ever had the slightest doubt that he would be anything but a natural camper. He loved it. 

Do you think I could find a toddler-size camping chair when I actually needed one?

On Saturday morning we had breakfast and then took a walk around the campground; LG wanted to hold hands going up and down the gravel road, and I wish I would have had my camera with me to get a pic of AD and LG from behind. But alas, I have memories. Then we rented a paddle boat, and of course, AD took us through these shallow little channels between several different lakes and then threw SG in and had to jump in after her (she's not the spring chicken she used to be). Shenanigans. But we all had fun. Then LG took a nap:

LOVE it.

Per usual, there was an afternoon trip into town for ice cream and supplies. Other than that, there was:

(playing)

and

(eating -- LOVE this face)

and

(hanging -- just to photographically prove that SG and I were there too)

and one

(tantrum)

On Sunday, we had breakfast, packed up camp, and planned on going to the beach (one of the only nice beaches I know of on the east side of the state) before heading home, but LG conked out in the car [sunscreen and swim gear and all]. So when we got home, he washed Poppy with our solar shower and we had a picnic in the backyard.

We're hoping to get to our favorite fall camping spot this month or next.

Since there's a shot of LG and I, and a few of LG and AD, I'm linking this post up to:



 

Our family vacation

AD will have been at his job as a First Officer (FO) at his regional airline for a year as of August 1st. Sometime around the end of the first year, pilots at his airline have a comprehensive oral knowledge and flight proficiency exam. AD will have these exams annually, but the one at the end of the first year is considered to be especially important because it's the last point that the airline can easily get rid of a pilot without having to deal with the union and other hassles. The exam is hard, and if you don't pass, you can ultimately lose your job; after which, the probability of being hired by another airline is unlikely. Quite understandably, AD was quite concerned (and stressed and crabby) about this exam, and he (and I) spent months preparing for it. The good news is, AD took and passed his exam at the end of June, gets to keep his job, and will get a raise when his first year officially ends (yay!). The airline congratulated him on his accomplishment by putting him on reserve for the month of July (boo!).
 

For those not familiar with how airline pilots work, their schedules go by each calendar month. Each pilot bids on "a line" (a schedule) for the next month and are either given a line or are placed "on reserve" (on call) based on seniority. Luckily for us, AD was only on reserve for the first two months after he completed training; he has heard stories of pilots who hired in just before a hiring freeze and were on reserve for years. Pilots on reserve will basically be on call for anywhere from four to eight days at a time (usually with two or three days off in between), and each of those days your shift may either be in the form of "a wrap" (the airline gives you a minimum two hour notice to get to the airport for an assignment) or "ready reserve" (you sit at the airport and have 10-15 minutes to be ready for an assignment). And you can't find out until 6pm the day before what times and what type of shift you will be working the next day. For pilots who live near the city in which they're based, being placed on reserve isn't so bad. However, for pilots like AD (and there are many) who commute to work from another city, this means that you have to commute the night before you actually have to work, and you have to put yourself up somewhere in that city. For AD, this means less time at home and taking public transportation to sleep on college kid's couch (my little brother's friend) while he's on reserve. The only upside to AD's being on reserve this month is that he somehow got most of the weekends off, which should allow us to finally take our first camping trip with LG. We are praying that AD is not on reserve again in August (or anytime soon, for that matter).

With all the variables that affect AD’s work schedule changing by the month, week, day, it’s really difficult to plan a family vacation. This year, my parents happened to be invited to a wedding in Maryland--where AD grew up and his family still lives--right after the fourth of July, so we planned for LG and I to visit AD's family and show my parents around AD's stomping grounds, and AD would fly in for his days off, whenever they should fall during the trip.

So, my dad, mom, LG and I started our drive—I know, I know, as the child and wife of a pilot, you would think that LG and I would fly, but with us not living in one of his airline's hubs and not being able to get passes for non-immediate family members (yet), it would mean having a layover and handling LG by myself, as my parents would take another airline that would offer both a direct and cheaper flight from Detroit to Baltimore. Since I am very nervous about flying with LG by myself and also because my parents were going to need some wheels to get them around Maryland, they decided to just rent a van. And can I say that if it weren't for the limited model selection (especially from American manufacturers) and not-so-great gas mileage, I would totally rock a van?--from Michigan very early on a Wednesday [the fourth] and started back from Maryland on a Tuesday [the tenth].

LG has driven to Maryland twice before when he was five and ten months old, and with him being relatively reserved and a little on the slow side developing his large motor skills, these trips weren't too bad in terms of fussiness or restlessness. However, for this trip, I was a little concerned about how my now full-fledged toddler was going to handle a 10-12 hour car ride, so I did some mad food and activity preparations for the road trip. I brought books, a DVD player (a gift from my parents to LG for the occasion), special coloring book/markers/stickers, a play wallet, and made him a magnetic activity board (which didn't turn out how I had planned, but kept him occupied for a while anyway). Overall, I’d say the car rides went pretty well; LG slept, ate, played, and looked out the window (he liked sitting up high in the van) and kept the fuss down until the last 1-1½ hours of the ride both ways, which is to be expected.

We learned at the end of June that AD would have the Saturday and Sunday of our vacation week off. We also learned at the end of June that AD’s sister and her family would officially be adopting a long-awaited baby on the Friday of our week in Maryland[!] Can we pause for a moment to praise the Lord, and how we can always trust Him to come through for us? For one, that God created and delivered this baby boy out of a not-so-ideal situation to the family who had been praying and waiting for a child, and two, that He did so with excellent timing so that AD, LG and I could be there for Baby C’s homecoming. If they had gotten Baby C one week later, we may not have seen him until November! Not only were we there to celebrate at Baby C’s homecoming party on Sunday, but AD ended up getting Friday off, so we were able to actually go to the adoption agency with AD’s sister, brother-in-law, nephew, niece, and the rest of his family to receive Baby C. (Another testament to trusting the Lord to come through for us, especially regarding timing? The fact that in the nine months AD's been working for the airline, he's gotten two overnights in Detroit. One happened to fall on Christmas. the other fell on Easter. Coincidence? I think not).

AD with Baby C

 Big sister AB & big brother ON meeting Baby C

Artwork in Baby C's room made by ON & AB; this is one creative family!

Meanwhile, my parents went down to the DC area and explored the National Mall and Georgetown before the wedding they attended, which was in a bumper car pavilion at Glen Echo Park. AD and I had planned on taking my parents down to Baltimore to do some more sightseeing when they were finished with all of their wedding festivities on Saturday; however, seeing as it was 104 degrees and 87% humidity that day, their sightseeing was limited to the view from the van and the windows at the Rusty Scupper (which has beautiful views of the inner harbor, but to LG's dismay, no ranch dressing).

We were also able to meet up with my fabulous cousin JB, who lives in Virginia. I say and truly mean fabulous because this girl moved from Michigan to DC--where she knew very few people and did not yet have a job--right after college to pursue her dream job. Four years later, she's got the job (or maybe the precursor to the job--you'd have to ask her--but she's definitely on track) in a very male-dominated field, where she regularly outsmarts (and out-muscles) the boys. Girl is on top of her game, and we are so proud of her.

Other than that, we did a lot of

(visiting family)

and 

(hanging outside)

and

(playing)

and

(eating)

As with any true summer vacation, we each brought home a souvenir.

AD brought home:

and you better believe he would have brought more home if we had the $ and the room

I brought home:

which I've been looking for all season

And LG brought home:

which he is afraid of, which is okay with me. After all, I grew up in the '80s and was brainwashed by my parents that these things were dangerous when little girls were running their Barbie Jeep Pow-Pow-Power Wheels into brick walls and such.

LG also brought home the new nickname Do-Dah; his favorite phrase on the trip.